So last night I was told that my feelings for a certain someone were bullshit. Followed by, "You're a cool person, I like talking to you, you say interestin' stuff blah blah blah". One thing just hasn't settled in my mind. The fact Im such a great person, but yet one thing that is so dear to me I bullshit about?!? I ended up hanging up and falling asleep, only to wake up with that shit still on my mind bothering me. Maybe its because I love honesty but hate contradictions? How can you want someone as a close friend but yet not take what they say/how they feel seriously? To me thats impossible.
Now lets get one thing straight, Im a type of person to be very guarded. VERY guarded. Me expressing my emotions is kinda like finding a needle in a haystack. So when I get that shit out only months later to be told I was bullshittin' ..that is the ultimate slap in the face. Kinda like taking my heart, using a sledgehammer, brutally smashin' it a couple times and then placing it back in my chest cavity and expectin' it to function properly. Na dude, probably isn't gonna happen.
They say when something bothers you, write, talk, do whatever it takes to get it off your chest. He said truth hurts. Its not the truth that hurt me last night, it was me cherishin' someone only for me to find out everything I've said in the past didn't mean shit to them.
Currently feeling : Withdrawn.
1 comment:
A lot of times we often find what we reveal to be taken out of context by the listener. Things are tougher on people sometimes to swallow and when someone crosses that border, it's like an unwanted invasion, to which we retract ourselves. Just soak it in and walk in stride. No one should be able to tell you how you particularly feel about another. That's why it's called "your feelings".
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